Being Satisfied with the Lord, Amdrew Lamuda

Following my parents' footsteps to believe and practice Buddhism, I had never wondered about the existence of God. My view of God was very shallow and superficial. He was the One who created the universe and had nothing to do with me. Also, growing up in a loving and caring family, my parents always had the answer for everything. Things worked fine the way they were without God.

In 1997, I left my native country, Indonesia, and came to the United States for undergraduate study. I felt like starting a new chapter of my life where I could be independent from my family. Everything in the world was wide open and waiting for me. After two and half years of college, I had achieved and done everything that I had ever wanted in my life. Yet somehow, I felt like a broken vessel having no water left in my being. I was tearing apart day by day. During that time, I had been meeting with the brothers and sisters in the local church for a few months. I remember coming home from a college meeting with a big smile on my face and songs in my heart. Soon after I got home to my two-bedroom apartment, I found myself retreating to my own little world and the life I received from the meeting quickly dissipated. In the midst of my desperation of choosing between the Lord or what the world had to offer me, I asked the Lord to reveal Himself to me as the one who is real. I wanted Him to show me a way to go on in my Christian life or else I was just going to go my own way.

It was at a mountain trip that Jesus Christ finally revealed Himself to me as a real Person who lives within me and wants to make His home in my heart. Ephesians 3:17 says, “That Christ may make His home in your hearts through faith.” He is not expecting me to do anything for Him. Instead of mandating me to follow His law and regulations, He simply revealed Himself as a wonderful Person. He satisfies me! John 7:38 says, “He who believes into Me, as the Scripture said, out of his innermost being shall flow rivers of living water.” Over the years, with the help of all the believers and the ministry from Witness Lee and Watchman Nee, I can say that Jesus is the meaning of my human life and the Lord is truly satisfying all my hunger and thirst as the river flowing out of my innermost being.